from the mundane to the mundane and back again

Whether fighting oil well fires in Texas as leader of the John Wayne Brigade or chefing up his famous “Grouse ala mode” for the extremely wealthy patrons of his Park Avenue restaurant L’entrail, this 48 year old daredevil and bon vivant leads a life of exciting excitement. A one man Algonquin table, his ribald tales of noble savagery will stick in your psyche like some peanut butter for your mind. Excelsior!

by Tim Cronin

  • I Hate Me, part 799,035 - April 25, 2017
    Saturday before work, running a little late, went to get a quick cup of coffee. The line at Starbucks was short but they had a slow crew on, very friendly and competent but glacial. The first customer had three coffees and wanted to pay for them in three different ways, “see, if there’s any money [&hellip […]

  • I Hate Me, part 783,033 - April 21, 2017
    Slow night, older woman came to the back counter holding a Chris Stapleton cd I need two of these, I only saw one out there Sure, we should have some more in the back Ok, ’cause I need two Right…I’m gonna grab one from the back…the storeroom  I want both of them …ok…I’m going to [&hellip […]

  • I hate me, part 775,973 - April 18, 2017
    This one is pretty goddamned thin: Nice sunny Saturday morning, I was walking to work. Some guy who was way to bundled up for the day (coat, hat, scarf, snow goggles) zipped by me on an undersized BMX bike. When I got to work, he was parked, talking to his reflection in the front window, [&hellip […]

  • I hate me, part 700,631 - April 13, 2017
    Ordered lunch from a deli, it wasn’t ready to pick up when I got there. So, I sat on a waiting bench that’s on an aisle that leads from the counter to the tables in the back. As I was sitting there intermittently checking emails and staring off into space a large family came in [&hellip […]

  • I Hate Me, part 766,310 - April 11, 2017
    Middle aged hippie guy who I wrote about in the last post came into Jack’s on a Saturday. He never buys anything, complains about prices and gives us tips on how to make the store better. He’ll also comment on customers music selections. There was a couple looking through our Grateful Dead section and he [&hellip […]

  • I hate me, part 705,913 - April 3, 2017
    There’s a customer who looks like a middle aged hippie that’s had a rough go of it but has top shelve tastes and isn’t afraid to let you know how great his choices in life have been. I saw him at Whole Foods while I was getting a salad and was trying to get away [&hellip […]

  • New Jersey as a vowel - March 31, 2017
    I wrote a little while ago on the odd trend of using the shape of New Jersey as a vowel for “Jersey proud” type shirts etc. I saw one recently that I wasn’t sure if they were promoting the “shore” or if it had a Lord of the Rings meaning and the clothing was promoting [&hellip […]

  • I hate me, part 752,444 - March 30, 2017
    This customer came in, he’s been coming in sporadically for years, middle aged, kind of a wild card. The kind of guy who’s disappointed that we only have Helen Reddy’s greatest hits cd instead all the original albums. Sometimes he comes in with his girlfriend they don’t so much talk as bark short sentences at [&hellip […]

  • I hate me, part 749,001 - March 27, 2017
    Middle aged guy came into the store, windbreaker and mesh back cap with a fish on it. He ended up at the back counter. He was looking for a cd and Matt was his man. Matt is in his thirties and clearly looks like he’s in his thirties. Guy-What are you…like 50…60? Matt-(long pause)…yeah… The [&hellip […]

  • I hate me part 786,146 - March 24, 2017
    I try to steer clear of unsolicited political discussions with customers, there’s no winners. A guy who’s been coming in for years, never talked politics but I figured he was extreme in his thinking. This was shortly after the election: Guy-Trump! Yeah gonna get things done! Me-I guess he is. Guy-Ya know Hillary…she just bad….bad……….bad……………..she’s [&hel […]

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